What The Post wishes Joe Biden’s cue card would say

On Thursday, Joe Biden flashed for the cameras a comical presidential “cheat sheet” that proved simply how stage-managed the 79-year-old is by his employees.

In addition to instructing him to recollect to say “whats up” and “thanks,” it emphasised primary steps corresponding to “YOU take YOUR seat.”

Due to a White Home mole, The Put up was in a position to smuggle a brand new cheat sheet into Biden’s jacket pocket when he was taking a fast nap within the Oval Workplace.

Right here, what we expect the presidential cue card ought to say:

THE PRESIDENT

Press convention sequence of occasions

  • After ice cream, WALK down corridor to press convention. Secret Service brokers “Sport,” “Chief,” and “Stretch” will escort you (employees: that is John, Adam and Charles).
  • YOU stand at podium. It’s the tall picket stand within the center. YOU can maintain on for assist.
  • Greet the press. YOU say “whats up,” not “hey pals, able to cowl for me?”
  • YOU do NOT sniff Kaitlin Collins’ hair.
  • A person named RON KLAIN will attempt to rush the stage. Stretch will deal with him.
  • YOU won't blame Putin or Trump.
  • DON’T whisper.
  • Significantly, STOP whispering.
  • When somebody says “Mr. President,” bear in mind, they’re speaking to YOU! We will’t imagine it both.
  • CALL on the Son-of-a-Bitch (employees: Peter Doocy). Don’t sniff his hair. Strive answering his query for as soon as.
  • Maintain up your ARM. Make a FIST. Shake all of it about. That’s what it’s all about.
  • YOU shall be escorted out by your spouse (“Jill”). YOU did a terrific job. It’s Delaware Time. Lukewarm tomato soup and MeTV!

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