Individuals taking a dip at Outdated Orchard Seaside in York County, Maine on July 22, 2022.
Photograph by JOSEPH PREZIOSO/AFP through Getty Photographs
Welcome to Vacationland
Questioning the place this column was final week? Sorry. I forgot to say I’m taking two days off. My pc’s exhausted.
I went to Maine. Why? I’m a world traveler. Performed Cambodia, Indonesia, most of South America, Fiji, Kabul, Kathmandu, Beirut, Siberia, India, Outback, Galapagos, Iran, Iraq, Laos, the entire Caribbean, all Europe, Fiji, Samoa, New Guinea, China, Japan, Taipei, Alaska, Hawaii, Himalayas, Sri Lanka, Thailand, Guam, and so forth — however Maine? Not.
I’ve additionally not seen Oklahoma — however who cares?
Longtime mates whose ancestors based the state of Maine within the 1800s and are in its museums and histories invited me.
It’s north. Eight hours because the crow and a BMW flies. Borders Canada, so it’s cool. Clear. Ethereal. Contemporary. Ocean. Shoreline. Seashores. Open sky. Inexperienced. Bushes. Lighthouses. Boats. Harbors. Coastlines. No litter. No trash. It’s well mannered. Pleasant. Cheap. Seafood. Lobsters the scale of Radio Metropolis. Locals whose behinds overlap the state of Texas all stuffed into shorts. Realtors may set up a whole campsite on the common ass.
In Kennebunkport, Bar Harbor, Portland, Ogunquit, Freeport, Eastport the idea of dressing is just for salad. Neglect purchasing. Skirts, necklaces, socks, ties, footwear, knife-pressed longpants went out with the primary settlers. L.L. Bean denims, drawers, plaid shirts, crappy sweaters, sweats, sneakers and backpacks are thought-about black tie.
New England’s largest state, it’s sparsely populated and 90% forest however seemed like no bushes went to construct elegant shops. Additionally neglect consignment retailers as a result of what they’re sporting is already consignment stuff.
Water, water all over the place
Fishing? Nice. Trend? Neglect it. There’s not sufficient cloth on NYC’s Seventh Avenue to cowl any native behind. Mainers think about flannel formal.
Need shore, water, sand? It’s acquired Outdated Orchard Seaside, Ferry Seaside, Goose Rocks Seaside, Wells Seaside, Kennebunk Seaside, Cape Elizabeth, Pine Level, Biddeford Pool, Southport, Boothbay Harbor, New Harbor, Christmas Cove, Bailey Island, Orrs Island, York’s Lengthy Sands. Venice in a hurricane has much less water.
Beers and bushes
There’s yachts, boat eating places, nice meals. The Storage was as soon as an precise storage. Now inside the place previously they repaired vehicles and motors they serve ribs with cornbread, coleslaw, tubs of beer. All people does beer. They most likely bathe with it. Choose French furnishings with gilt legs and arms, white linen tablecloths, waiters in tuxes — neglect it.
Portland’s nineteenth century Observatory which indicators ships is thousands and thousands of steps. This I didn’t do. After they add an escalator I’ll do it. There’s additionally mountain climbing the clear Lengthy Sands. Schlep alongside a Frisbee, surfboard, scorching canine and actual canine.
“Downcoast” domestically means “far north.” “Upcoast” is northeast. “The town” equals Portland. Site visitors’s zero. Congestion is 2 autos in reverse instructions making an attempt to keep away from a moose. Stephen King, Anna Kendrick and George Bush are from right here however they’re not right here. Mainers, possibly ecstatic simply to see anybody, are pleasant. Something you need, apart from bushes, it's important to get in your automotive to get.
I climbed into mine to get again to civilization and New York.
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