Canada will mourn the queen, however gained’t lose cash over it.
Seems, for some conspicuous monarchists in Canada, their love of Queen Elizabeth II is paper skinny – actually.
That grew to become obvious earlier this week after Prime Minister Justin Trudeau declared Monday, September 19 a nationwide vacation to watch the passing of “one in every of my favorite folks on the earth”.
“Canada,” Trudeau stated, was “in mourning”. Certain, most Canadians, I suppose, have paused to replicate for a second or two on the demise of a 96-year-old English monarch. However I haven’t seen a lot proof that Canada has been gripped by grief or shocked into questioning what's going to turn into of us now that her bland 73-year-old son, Charles, is king.
As a substitute, from my modest, admittedly republican, perch, Canadians seem like occurring with the vagaries, disappointments, pleasures and mundane calls for of life simply as earlier than.
In the meantime, the chance that the entire nation would get pleasure from an sudden vacation on the eve of summer time’s sundown was a contented shock amid the media-manufactured gloom.
I do know. I do know. What an insensitive lout I'm. In my defence, I believe that a lot of my fellow insensitive republican louts in Canada – who, like me, have by no means counted the queen as amongst their “favorite folks on the earth” – welcomed information of the impromptu vacation as effectively.
And but, I felt a bit of cheated. Britain – our legendary “motherland” – is devoting 10 days to commemorate the queen’s seven-decade reign. One paltry day, by comparability, appears, at greatest, uncharitable or worse, an affordable, royal low cost.
Regardless of the gooey, 24/7 protection by reverential, black-clad personalities who've been occurring and on and on these days concerning the touching sight of her late majesty’s religious, grateful topics standing in lengthy, snaking queues, a good variety of Brits would like, reportedly, to look at footie reasonably than a funeral – at residence or in a pub.
Insensitive louts.
Alas, Trudeau’s “vacation” to permit bereaved Canadians the chance to mourn – which strikes me as an oxymoron – got here with a caveat. Solely federal public servants would get the day without work to take a seat in entrance of a wide-screen, high-resolution telly and look on whereas a bunch of bickering princes and princesses and an accused serial intercourse offender say goodbye to mommy dearest.
One miffed monarchist instructed a Canadian TV host: “She was all people’s queen – she wasn’t solely the queen of public sector staff.”
Too true, sir.
Sadly, the miffed monarchist’s convincing logic escaped the discover of Ontario Premier Doug Ford – a media-anointed “populist” who has proved, as soon as extra, that he's not the “folks’s champion” however a fatuous hypocrite.
Right here is Ford studying from a teleprompter with the sincerity of a model to specific his sorrow on the finish of “a outstanding life”.
“All through her historic reign,” Ford stammered, “she taught us the true which means of selfless service and was revered and admired for her sense of responsibility and dedication to charity.”
By Ford’s measure, the distant matriarch of a wealthy, dysfunctional brood of scheming dilettantes born into place and privilege was the revered and admired paragon of service and responsibility.
So, how did this true-blue Tory plan to honour a pricey, departed blue-blood’s “selfless” devotion to Canada and past? Predictably, he selected cash over the monarch.
Ford might have adopted Trudeau’s beneficiant lead and given the queen’s – we're reliably knowledgeable, after all, by the monarchy-adoring tabloid press – devastated legion of working-class followers within the province a shift-free likelihood not solely to bid her adieu but in addition to wave a miniature Union Jack in unhappy solidarity.
Whereas Doug “everyman” Ford provided the royal household his stilted condolences, the callous curmudgeons on the Canadian Federation of Unbiased Enterprise issued a plea with warp-like velocity urging provincial authorities to withstand the populist temptation to make September 19 “a statutory paid vacation”.
I recognise that it could be a contact early for an allusion to Christmas. Nonetheless, it's irresistible. Channelling the delightfully candid Ebenezer Scrooge, the federation’s unmoved president, Dan Kelly, cried: Bah humbug!
Capitalists are usually not sentimentalists three hundred and sixty five days of the yr.
The proposed vacation would, he moaned, be “deeply unfair” and price “billions” to already “struggling” companies recovering from the pandemic.
The “request” was a blunt order wrapped in a terse press launch. Having recovered from delivering his taxing, one-minute-long eulogy, Ford heard it – loud and clear – and like several premier who is aware of who he solutions to, he did what he was instructed to do.
It’s no vacation for you (and me), Ontario. We get a “day of mourning” which features a voluntary second of silence at 1pm to cease and take into account “the outstanding lifetime of Queen Elizabeth II and her unrelenting dedication to service and responsibility.”
Such was Ford’s enthusiasm for the “day of mourning” that he recycled the identical speech he made on the day of the queen’s demise to advertise the concept.
Ford and stingy firm ought to admit it: The almighty buck will all the time be king.
I don’t know what my fellow Ontarians will or gained’t do for 60 seconds at 1 o’clock on Monday. I do, nonetheless, know this: the province will – to borrow one in every of Ford’s insipid catchphrases – be open for enterprise.
Maybe the unicorns utilizing money will discover some solace within the information that each time they attain for a crisp, plastic $20 be aware, they may eternally be reminded of Queen Elizabeth’s elegant – albeit pixilated for safety functions – picture.
Personally, I'll take a well-earned cross on the supply of a second of silence to ponder the crown’s “legacy”. Barely over every week in the past, I devoted a column to the British monarchy’s brutish historical past of violence, racism, slavery and wholesale pillaging of scores of largely non-white colonies within the title of queen and nation.
That stolen bounty will likely be on show once more because the queen makes her sluggish, sombre technique to her closing resting place in a glittery present of pomp and circumstance that a military of superstar journalists will swoon over like giddy schoolchildren.
As for Premier Ford, decked out in a black tie and go well with with a commemorative ribbon and pin mounted to a lapel, he introduced on Wednesday that the provincial legislature would, in impact, start a six-week vacation – instantly.
Bah humbug, I say.
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