Dyson's air-purifying headphones, out in March 2023, concurrently purify the air, and are offensively priced at $949.
Dyson
You can also appear to be Hannibal Lecter for the low, low value of virtually $1,000.
This week, the British tech firm Dyson, which dries your arms at airports and makes cost-prohibitive vacuum cleaners you'll by no means really purchase, unveiled their cockamamie new Zone noise-canceling headphones that concurrently purify the air — offensively priced at $949.
Can additionally they purify the ground? As a result of I’ve simply vomited.
Have a look at them. This veritable cranium cage is barely much less flattering than orthodontic headgear, and hides your smile as a substitute of bettering it.
Primarily, you’re dropping a cool grand to get beat up on the playground by Nelson from “The Simpsons.”
As futuristic is it pretends to be, Zone is a regressive gadget in additional methods than one.
Whereas Apple has made wearable tech extra unassuming — its sexier, over-the-ear AirPods Max value about half of the Zone’s value — Dyson desires to show deep-pocketed customers into Dumas’ Man within the Iron Masks. Solely right here, Dumas is spelled d-u-m-b-a-s-s.
The corporate should be concentrating on the freakish pandemic holdovers who nonetheless put on N95 masks on jogs within the park on a windy day, or alone within the automobile on the way in which to work. We’re all clearing our drawers of previous fabric face coverings — why not fill the void with a large steel one? The Zone is claimed to filter 99% of particle air pollution, however Dyson doesn’t go as far as to say it prevents COVID.
They do, nevertheless, say that with the air-filter attachment, the headphones weigh a hefty 1.5 kilos — about 10% the burden of the typical human head. Name your chiropractor!
However wouldn’t it's good to breathe completely sterile air more often than not? Not likely.
Consultants say that this fall the US endured its highest flu hospitalization price in a decade, blaming an absence of publicity to germs throughout COVID lockdowns.
“We suspect that many kids are being uncovered to some respiratory viruses now for the primary time, having averted these viruses in the course of the peak of the pandemic,” stated Dr. José Romero, director of the CDC’s Nationwide Heart for Immunization and Respiratory Illnesses.
And what goes higher with an digital anti-germ masks than noise cancelation? Now it’s tremendous simple to be an anti-social shut-in from anyplace on this planet!
So, the Zone is good for the one who desires to appear to be a moron all day, inhale scuba-tank high quality air and never speak to or hear anyone. It’s additionally appropriate for anybody seeking to come down with the worst flu of their life after briefly eradicating the headphones-mask at a restaurant.
The Zone will likely be out there in March — by appointment solely. However anyone who drops $1,000 on this Google Glass 2.0 actually wants an appointment with a therapist.
Post a Comment